Monday, January 10, 2011


Subject: Pescatarian

I had to google it. Regardless of whether we end up hanging out, I learned something today! I feel very productive!

- - - -

Subject: Just not the one.

Hi there J. I am so glad I could help you expand your vocabulary! And you know what? I love google too. What are the chances?

Sure, I was not super keen on your age (as I was clear about the fact that I would like to date those aged 25 - 29) - or the receding hairline that goes with it - but our mutual love of google and words made me think you just might be the one!

I decided to check out your profile.

I mean... J., you mention that you’re ‘pretty good at poker.’ That’s just confusing. Why mention it if you’re only pretty good at it? I mean - if you’re an awesome poker player - fine, boast all you want, but I still might think you’re hinting at a compulsive gambling issue - not exactly the stuff romances are made of.

But you’re only ‘pretty good’? Not only does that make me consider the possibility that you may have a gambling addiction J., but it also makes me worry that all you excel in is mediocrity (which, again, isn’t exactly the stuff epic romances - at least my own - are made of).

You go on to mention boozing not once, but twice, in your profile. J., I hate to play armchair shrink on a dating website, but didn’t your mother tell you compulsive behaviors don’t attract the ladies?

So, it is with a heavy heart, J., that I must say, thanks, but no thanks. While at one point I was convinced you were “The One” (after I got over your hairline but before I encountered your profile/hobbies) I am now sure that we will not work out. Best of luck with the booze and gambling!


  1. Not only excels in mediocrity, but embraces it as well. And pescatarians are not to be trusted.

  2. "Pretty good at poker" = Plays online poker constantly. Sometimes wins big. Usually loses big.

    I agree with your decision to send him off :)

  3. Im going to have to second mcgriddle pants. bye bye J.