J.

Subject: Pescatarian

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I had to google it. Regardless of whether we end up hanging out, I learned something today! I feel very productive!


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Subject: Just not the one.

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Hi there J. I am so glad I could help you expand your vocabulary! And you know what? I love google too. What are the chances?

Sure, I was not super keen on your age (as I was clear about the fact that I would like to date those aged 25 - 29) - or the receding hairline that goes with it - but our mutual love of google and words made me think you just might be the one!

I decided to check out your profile.

I mean... J., you mention that you’re ‘pretty good at poker.’ That’s just confusing. Why mention it if you’re only pretty good at it? I mean - if you’re an awesome poker player - fine, boast all you want, but I still might think you’re hinting at a compulsive gambling issue - not exactly the stuff romances are made of.

But you’re only ‘pretty good’? Not only does that make me consider the possibility that you may have a gambling addiction J., but it also makes me worry that all you excel in is mediocrity (which, again, isn’t exactly the stuff epic romances - at least my own - are made of).

You go on to mention boozing not once, but twice, in your profile. J., I hate to play armchair shrink on a dating website, but didn’t your mother tell you compulsive behaviors don’t attract the ladies?

So, it is with a heavy heart, J., that I must say, thanks, but no thanks. While at one point I was convinced you were “The One” (after I got over your hairline but before I encountered your profile/hobbies) I am now sure that we will not work out. Best of luck with the booze and gambling!